Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Q: What is the meaning of life?

A: In 1984, I got T-boned by an ice cream truck after blowing a stop sign on my way back from a Vegas Beacon Bash with the boys. I died. I expected to see God or the Devil, or someone, but there was nothing. Nobody at all. Then, out of the black void, a massive, red-pixilated number appeared before me. 23. It was as if life was a game and this was my final score. But 23? What did this number mean? After I was resuscitated, I spent the next six years trying to find some answers. I built a machine to zap myself dead and then back to life shortly after. I did one of every single thing you could possibly do, keeping detailed notes and checking to see if the number ever changed. After many trips into the void and back, I can tell you with confidence that the meaning of life is to accidentally inhale as many spiders as you can before you die. I’m at about 417 currently, so good luck beating that score, chump!