Oatmeal is many things to many people: health food, boring alternative to boxed breakfast cereal, a physical embodiment of mundanity. One thing it is almost never described as is a really tasty thing to eat. I think the problem lies with the way that people are led to prepare it, which generally results in a bowl of bland slop that contains vitamins and protein and no fun. I aim to remedy this, with a guide to the fundamentals of this most underestimated of meals.
THE BASICS:
To start with, I almost never use quick-cooking oats. Yes, it can cut cooking times in half, but half of 10 minutes is only 5 minutes less, and the result is a sloppy mush with no texture. For this reason, I pretty much always use regular “old-fashioned” rolled oats. I also quite like steel-cut oats, but it’s exponentially more time-consuming and expensive, so I usually leave it be. As for “instant” oatmeal, I do not even acknowledge its existence.
Next, the most important part is getting the water (or other liquid) ratio correct. The standard water to grain ratio (such as is used to cook rice) tends to be a simple 2 to 1. However, for oatmeal, this tends to result in a thinner and thus less satisfying end product. The following is my standard recipe:
1 part old-fashioned rolled oats
1 1/2 parts water
or
1 1/2 parts old-fashioned rolled oats
2 parts water
Scale up or scale down as needed.
For extra richness, substitute the milk of your choice, or even apple juice, for the water. I have also heard good things about soaking the grain overnight (and presumably not adding extra water).
Some recommend boiling the water first, then adding the oats only after the water is boiling, but I prefer to add both the grain and the water at the same time, as it is simpler and yields a more sticky and satisfying product.
This would be a good time to add spices. I usually eyeball my measurements, so I couldn’t give the exact amounts, but it tends to average about 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon each.
My standard mix is as follows:
– allspice
– cinnamon
– freshly grated nutmeg
– a pinch of salt
– occasionally about a tablespoon of fennel seeds just to make things interesting
I also recommend (if you have it):
– cloves
– cardamon
– ginger powder
– vanilla extract (it’s a bit too expensive for my tastes, but if you can afford it, go for it)
– rum, bourbon, or brandy (if added early enough, the alcohol should boil off)
This would also be a good time to add any of the following:
– dried coconut
– chopped nuts
– dried fruit (I highly recommend dried cherries and cranberries)
– frozen fruit
Fresh fruit can also be added early, but it will be cooked and the flavors more thoroughly integrated by the time you are done. If you want the fruit to retain its shape and structural integrity, then add it at the end.
I recommend:
– chopped apples
– raspberries
– bananas
For the actual cooking, I cannot recommend highly enough using a good nonstick pan. If you are doing this right, the oatmeal will try to stick like hell. I consider this an acceptable trade-off, but it’s good to minimize this wherever possible.
I personally tend to crank the heat to high, and stir continuously until I am satisfied with its consistency, like a particularly thick stir-fry. This is by far the quickest way of doing things and can yield a more flavorful product, but it is also the most strenuous on the arm and you do risk severely burning the bottom. Feel free to lower the heat to a simmer once it hits the boiling point. If you can, try to lightly singe the bottom without actually burning it, as one would with steak or tofu. This is tricky, but it adds a nutty flavor.
I actually avoid adding milk to the finished product, and instead go straight for the butter and brown sugar (always dark brown), just to keep it as thick as possible. How much you add depends on your tastes. If you want, add the butter and sugar during the cooking process: this is quicker, and makes for an almost candy-like consistency.
Now here’s where things get weird.
Savory oatmeal: this is a thing. Actually, it’s a remarkably straightforward thing. The main difference is less or no sugar and more salt, different spices, and different additions. The water to grain ratio stays the same, but if you are going to add soy sauce (which I highly recommend) it could throw the liquid ratio off a bit, so I would add the soy sauce while measuring the water so as to keep the ratio consistent (1/8 to 1/4 cup should do it).
It is, however, important to work to oatmeal’s strengths here. When I first started making it, my first instinct was to treat it like rice, but it’s important to understand how the two grains differ. Rice tends to hold its shape, whereas oatmeal (especially if you prepare it like I do) tends to become more of a sticky mass. This means that you should be aiming for something creamier, more along the lines of Fettuccine Alfredo or Beef Stroganoff, than a pilaf or paella type dish.
It is tempting to forego butter and go for oil, and while that does work, it does tend to fight the creaminess that oatmeal naturally lends itself to, so I recommend sticking with butter. Coconut oil (food grade, not skincare grade) is also great if you can get it cheap enough.
I haven’t yet tried adding sour cream to this, but it could be fantastic. As for cheese, I cannot imagine that being anything other than delicious (though I would add less or no butter to make up for the cheese’s grease).
Spices I recommend:
– black pepper
– red pepper flakes
– cayenne powder
– chipotle powder
– curry powder
– oregano, thyme, rosemary, or Italian seasoning
– fennel seed
I haven’t done much experimentation with adding meat and vegetables, but given the speed at which oatmeal cooks, I can say for certain that it would make things infinitely easier to cook them separately. There’s a special kind of frustration that comes from biting into undercooked vegetables in a bowl of overcooked noodles or eggs, and I can see this happening very easily here.
Some easier things that one might add are:
– diced tomatoes (canned or fresh)
– scallions
– chives
– grated ginger
– garlic
– fried onions
– sautéed bell peppers
If done right, this should yield a dinner dish as dinner-y as any other, despite being made with a grain that has been confined to the category of breakfast.
All of the above is just a set of guidelines. Most of my learning in the kitchen has come in the form of experimentation. It is important to recognize all conventions in cooking and art as what they are: a series of habits and things we are familiar with, but not a set of hard and fast rules. A boring breakfast cereal can be interesting, and it can even be dinner.
Oatmeal: Sweet, Savory, But Never Boring
April 22, 2016