On Sept. 27, the Mass Media received an op ed submission from a young man who believes that all student clubs for women and ethnic minorities are “divisive” and should be de-funded. Here is what Mass Media sports editor Jon Mael had to say in response.
You know, I think you’re right. For too long the Vietnamese Student Association has had their boot on the neck of us white men, keeping us down. I don’t even know why we’ve been letting them get away with it for so long, but bravo to you, my friend, for finally taking a stand.
It’s not as if there’s dozens of societies you could belong to such as the Mass Media, Watermark, Outdoor Club, Anthropology Club, the ISO, Undergraduate Student Government, and many others. It’s not as if you’re just targeting these minority organizations because you felt that your white ass didn’t belong there. You just want equality, to be treated like your fellow man!
But here’s the thing, buddy: Sometimes you have to just suck it up and move on. I don’t bitch that the Women in Science club doesn’t let me in. You know why? Because I have no tits and my name isn’t Jennifer. (Editor’s note: Women without breasts or with names other than Jennifer can still join the Women in Science Club.) 
Sometimes you have to just think about what you’re asking for. Do you really want to be in Casa Latina? Do you really want to be in a women’s organization? I think you’re just a little sore that you weren’t embraced with open arms by these groups and now you’re erroneously bringing race and sex into the conversation. And let me tell you, it doesn’t get much whiter than that.
These clubs offer students with like interests and heritage a chance to discuss relevant issues with like-minded people. Sorry that you come from a racially suppressed Caucasian background that has always had you awkwardly dancing at weddings, being the first to burn up on the beach, and needing to be the first in line to get the new Iphone. I’m with you man, it’s a struggle everyday but I get by.
Do you know why affirmative action exists in the first place? Because we already have it really good. The goal of this program is to give minorities and women a chance to catch up to us because we’ve already had a massive head start in the race of life, we were basically born sliding into home.
These societies are a vital and celebrated part of this university, and just because you might not feel welcome doesn’t mean that they need to go away.
My advice to you: Keep fighting the good fight. Refuse to sit in the whites-only section of the game room. Refuse to move to the white seats in the back of the shuttle busses, and definitely don’t feel intimidated when you go to vote for the one white candidate at the whites-only polling place. 
Or you could do none of those things because I just made that up. We have it pretty good and all you’re doing is complaining because everything isn’t just perfect. I’d just spend a little time tonight thanking God for all of the great things you do have, rather than writing in an op ed about how badly you wish you could be a minority (minus the stop and frisk, of course).