Gemini: Tomorrow morning you will be tempted by drive-through. But remember, bikini season is right around the corner.

Taurus: An old man wearing a parka will accost you for two dollars. Whether or not you give the money, you will see beneath the parka and be changed forever.

Aries: Put down this newspaper, immediately.

Pisces: Your dietary restrictions will come back to bite you in the butt on Friday.

Aquarius: Your birthday is coming up and you can never have too many scarves.

Capricorn: Sometimes it’s good to go a day without showering, regardless of how your hair looks. But don’t skip a shower on Tuesday, Feb. 5 or you will be filled with sadness.

Sagittarius: Those holiday cookies on the kitchen table are neither nutritional nor edible.

Scorpio: Your roommate will continue to not do his dishes to spite you. Leave his dirty dishes outside his bedroom door to spite him.

Libra: An old friend with the initial JM is about to come back into your life in the most unexpected way.

Virgo: You can never have too many socks! Especially on Sunday, Feb. 3.

Leo: One of your friends is sick with a bad head cold. Bring him or her a cup of chicken noodle soup.

Cancer: During your third history class you will realize that you’re major is a waste of time and money. Sorry.