DISCLAIMER:
Please note – We are not professionals. We are students looking to help fellow students in their time of need.
Submit questions to [email protected]. Submissions must be less than 200 words. All questions will be posted as anonymous unless specified otherwise.
Q: Hi there,
Lately, I’ve been feeling really down and emotionally numb. I don’t want to go out with my friends or even leave the house for that matter. All I want to do is smoke weed by myself. How can I cheer myself up? It seems like I’m never going to feel happy again. Please help. -Anonymous
A: Hey!
First of all, I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. It WILL get better! Second of all, how can you feel better if you don’t give yourself the chance to? Staying in and feeling bad isn’t going to help the situation. Try doing things that really make you happy. That may not include getting high, or maybe it does it for you, just be gentle with yourself. Depression tends to take control of us and highly influence our thoughts and decisions, similar to your choosing not to go out with friends anymore. If you have been feeling this way for several weeks, I would consider talking to a professional.  When we are depressed, the tendency to have ZERO motivation to do things we used to do, things that may be beneficial to us. My advice would be to make sure you get some fresh air, eat healthy, maybe exercise a little as well. Just remember that baby steps are okay. Take note of the way your thoughts and behaviors may influence you in the long run. Good luck! -Jack
Q: Hi,
So my parents want me to choose a major and career path that will get me a high salary and a guaranteed job, but I want to study English because I love to read and write, and that doesn’t fall under their category of an acceptable major. What do I do? I speak for all of us…
A: Hey there!
This is so common to hear nowadays, so don’t feel like you’re alone in the struggle. My advice is to do what you are passionate about. Don’t give up on it. Who knows how comfortable you will be on an English teacher’s salary? Only you! You may not even become an English teacher! Your parents want what’s best for you, but you have the final say on what that really is. Your happiness depends on it. Would you rather work somewhere, perhaps making good money, but feeling like something’s missing? In the end, no one can tell you what to do – not your parents and certainly not myself. My advice is to put your own happiness and well-being over monetary value. Who knows, life may throw you a curveball and show that English majors can make lots of money. Good luck! -Jack
Q: Hello,
My best friend and I became distant. We were once very close and open to each other. We used to be neighbors before she moved away a couple years ago. Since then we’ve had a great long distant relationship. At the end of last summer, I got the chance to go visit her. Everything seemed great, we talked for a while before things got awkward. I went out with her and her friend. They completely ignored me. I ended up carrying their bags while they took pictures and chatted and laugh. We went back to her house after that and decided to go for a walk. Again it was just awkward. In the evening, another friend of hers came to visit. They were having a great time, I even tried to include myself but instead ended up being embarrassed by her. She has obviously changed and doesn’t think I’m fun enough and thinks I’m too “perfect”. I was supposed to spend two days with her but I ended up calling my mom to come for me early the next morning. Since then, we haven’t communicated with each other. She was my best and closest friend. I feel sad, depressed and heart broken. I’m trying to move on but somehow it feels impossible. I used to risk not studying for my exams just to talk to her when she had her problems and now looking back, whenever I wanted her she would always tell me she’ll text me later and couldn’t talk because she was with her friends. What should I do?”
A: As a reminder, I am not a professional counselor. If you feel depressed or may harm yourself, please consider seeking help from the University of Massachusetts Boston Counseling Center.
The situation you described is not an unusual one. Friends become strangers every day. It’s normal to outgrow friends, especially in college. You said your friend moved away a couple years ago. Within this time, it seems that you two have grown apart and have developed different personalities. While everything seemed okay over the phone, it gave you both false expectations of the friendship. It’s okay if you don’t see eye to eye with your friend. You two have been living apart, and while distance doesn’t affect or strain some people in their relationships, it has definitely strained you and your friend’s.
I know how it feels to grow apart from someone you were once close to. It hurts like crazy, especially when you have a long history with the person. Who said only significant others could break your heart? It will hurt for some time but let me tell you, time will heal your wound; but be patient. It won’t happen overnight, and it will take some effort from you. I’m not sure if you want to try to mend things with your friend, but I think it’s good to get some closure. If possible, try talking to your friend to see what the problem is or was. You can try meditating on some music. It works for me. Whenever you’re feeling down, just turn on your favorite song and meditate on it. Don’t waste your time worrying about things you cannot change. The best you can do is try to clean up the mess. Try not to jeopardize your academic life because of problems in your personal life. Always try to find a balance. I’m not saying to ditch your friends because you have work to do, but rather, find a way where you have time to do your assignments and time for your friends. I wish you the best in your dilemma and feel free to write again. Sincerely, Jade