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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

What’s your poison?






You may not realize this, but the drink you order when out at the bar may tell the bartender and patrons more about you than you think. So what does your drink of choice say about you?

1) Bloody Mary:

You like tomatoes, love V-8, and horseradish is never something you get “on the side.” As I’m writing this you’re probably attending an early lunch or brunch while simultaneously nursing a mean hangover. In case you didn’t know, Bloody Marys are a great “hangover drink.”

2) Long Island Iced Tea:

This drink is no joke. If you’re ordering this you probably want to get drunk, and you want to get drunk fast. This drink boats all five major liquors: vodka, tequila, gin, rum and triple sec. Where is the tea in all this you ask? No tea in this drink, just some sour mix and a splash of coke. Drink up.

3) Mimosa:

You love “day drinking” and rarely think twice about ordering a drink before noon. That being said, you probably enjoy wine by night and believe that pancakes and mimosas make the perfect pair.

4) Margaritas:

You love tequila and probably don’t mind throwing it up the next morning either. Downing a margarita shows you’re fun, flirty and cute. You don’t have the best taste in drinks but you also probably don’t have the worst. When it comes to beer, you probably drink Lonestar and you love Southwestern American cuisine.

5) Pabst Blue Ribbon:

You’re a laidback guy in your 20s with a moderate amount of money to spend on beer. You like the cheap prices PBR has to offer. Alternatively you might also be a hipster residing in the Allston/ Brighton area. The Silhouette anyone?

6) Cosmopolitan:

You’ve watched you mom order these at dinner for years. And now, if you’re ordering this you probably fit the cliché and watch Sex and the City reruns or DVDs in your spare time. You’re also not sure what’s in them. Let me help you – it’s vodka, triple sec, cranberry and lime juice.

7) Scotch:

You like your scotch. You also love the image it gives off. At this young age you think ordering scotch “neat” makes you look sophisticated. You also enjoy discussing different types of scotch with other scotch drinkers as well as politics.

8) Martini:

You can hold your liquor and don’t need a bucket to do it. You know how to handle your booze. Something else you can handle? The harsh taste of straight chilled vodka or gin with vermouth. You frown upon others with their far less sophisticated palettes. Restaurant bars appeal more to you than real bars do.

9) White Chocolate Martini:

You don’t enjoy the taste of alcohol and try to mask it by consistently ordering “dessert drinks.” You also have no idea how many calories a drink like this can pack.

10) Vodka Soda:

You switched to this drink after discovering tonic water is full of sugars and far less diet friendly. You also don’t care about what kind of drink you’re drinking as long as it’s low in calories, and you’re most likely kind of a bore.

11) Wine:

You think you’re classy when ordering this at a bar, when in reality you just can’t stand the taste of liquor or beer. Also, you should know that white zinfandel hasn’t been cool since the early 90s and Franzia (and other boxed wine) doesn’t count as real wine.