Rumors were swirling last week that Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson may be back together. Us Weekly reported that Wilson, 39, and Hudson, 28, who broke up last spring, were “hooking up,” according to sources close to the pair. Owen has stepped back onto the scene since his suicide attempt last August; he presented at the Academy Awards and is working on a new movie co-staring Jennifer Aniston.

Jessica Simpson set to invade Kuwait. The singer/actress is joining up with the Pussycat Dolls, Carlos Mencia and others to perform for U.S. troops stationed in Kuwait as part of Operation MySpace. The event, to take place March 10, will also be broadcast live via the web. Simpson was a perfect choice for the event, given that she has a thick head and is well acquainted with bombs.

DEA officials have opened an investigation into the untimely death of actor Heath Ledger. The investigation hopes to discover where and how Ledger, whose death was ruled an accidental overdose last month, obtained the medications. My money says it probably came from Canada. Damn Canadians with their prescription drug coverage.

Animal-rights group PETA released its worst-dressed-celebrities list recently, naming Lindsay Lohan, Eva Longoria and Kate Moss at top of the list. The group commented on Lohan’s desire to wear fur by saying, “There’s no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky.” Ouch, I’m glad they didn’t catch me wearing my authentic panda poncho and baby seal slippers. I know it’s a high price to pay, but keeping my feet warm is very important to me.

Where was I late last month when the Jonas Brothers, wet dream of teenage girls and elderly pedophiles alike, told “Details” magazine that they all wear “purity rings”? The rings promise that the black haired bros will “stay pure till marriage.” This is sure to bring tears to the eyes of many horny young girls. On another note, I am very good at comforting teenage girls.