Teardrops on her cell phone.Taylor Swift recently shared that her breakup with tween heartthrob/Freddy Mercury-wannabe Joe Jonas lasted only 27 seconds. Swift visited Ellen DeGeneres’s hit show and spilled the beans on the lack of tact the middle JoBro had. She got the call, and 27 seconds later she was single. Swift also confirms that JoJo left her for 10,000BC’s Camilla Belle. She has not confirmed, however, whether Joe has returned her flat iron or skinny jeans he borrowed when they were still together.

The fur was flying! Lindsay Lohan was recently attacked by PETA activists at a Paris nightclub. Their weapon of choice? Flour, of course! LiLo, wearing a black fur stole, was the victim of the flour-and-run by the animal lovers, while getting hateful things shouted at her. She quickly reemerged flour-free and ready to dance the night away with gal-pal Samantha Ronson in tow. PETA: where were you to attack LiLo when she decided I Know Who Killed Me was a good idea?

Kanye does it again. Never one for modesty, Kanye West has come out and proclaimed himself “the voice of this generation.” He dissed fellow artist Justin Timberlake, saying that while he had the chance to be an influential artist, JT decided to “go on vacation” while Kanye “made albums.” Also, while JT was on vacation, Kanye had assaulted paparazzi and gotten arrested twice. Yeah, that’s the perfect way to become the voice of the generation Yeazy.

How I Met Your Untalented Fame-Hungry D-Lister. CBS’s hit sitcom How I Met Your Mother will be graced with the faces of “celebs” Kim Kardashian, Heidi Montag, and Spencer Pratt in an upcoming episode. Kardashian says that she played herself, as did Montag and Pratt, and says that the episode is “supercute.” Well, that was probably the best for everyone–they are used to playing scripted versions of themselves on their other “reality” shows.