Fish Slaps Water-skier and Breaks His JawIn Texas, a fish jumped into the face of a water-skier who was going at such a high speed that the impact broke his jaw. Sources believe the marine jaw-breaker was a carp. This invasive species inhabits southern bodies of water, has a tendency to leap 7-10 feet out of the water, and can grow well over 60 pounds.-WWSB-TV Channel 7; Sarasota, Florida

Iraq Entering EndgameFollowing Bush’s plans to bring home 8,000 troops from Iraq by February, on September 10, Defense Secretary Robert Gates said that the war has entered its “Endgame”. According to the Pentagon, the situation in Iraq has been consistently improving, and Gates mentioned the need to prioritize Afghanistan.-Reuters

Russia and Venezuela Having Military Slumber parties!Russia recently sent two bombers over to Venezuela to practice some military drills. Russia also announced September 8th that it intends to perform more drills in the future. The U.S. responded by scrapping a deal with Moscow to exchange any more nuclear information with Russia.-CNNWashington Literally Caught in Bed with Oil CompaniesThe Interior Department’s inspector general issued a report this past week uncovering “recreational marijuana and cocaine use” by several members of the Interior Department staff, and said that they “engaged in brief sexual relationships with representatives from companies doing business.”-CNNPakistan Army Chief Bans Foreign Troops Inside PakistanAfter the U.S. broke an agreement promising not to launch an offensive in Pakistan during the holy month of Ramadan, Musharraf’s successor Gen. Parvez Kayani banned all foreign troops operating inside the country. A U.S. military chief said Afghan militants use Pakistan to communicate around U.S. forces.-CNNU.S. Pulling a Cuba on Iran U.S. and its allies have placed sanctions on the Iranian Islamic Republic of Iran Shipping Lines (IRISL), Iran’s national maritime carrier, because they provided sensitive information to their national defense departments.-Reuters