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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

2-26-24 PDF
February 26, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.
Bobby's Inside Story
February 26, 2024

The Stone’s Stunner

Finally, The Stone has come back to write his column!

I was going to make my glorious return last week, but when some guy by the name of Michael Jordan took up the spotlight, I decided to lay low for another seven days.

In all reality, who really wants to see “Air Jordan” lace up his $139 shoes again? The only people that I can think of would be Bulls fans who are obsessed with the UNC graduate. Oh yeah, and maybe the Wizards supporters (of which there wasn’t but a thimble full until he announced his second comeback on the 25th).

Now don’t get me wrong, I believe the man to be one of the great, if not the greatest, players to ever step onto a basketball court. However, MJ has been out of action for several years and is fast approaching his 39th birthday. When asked about how he would guard against such players as LA’s Kobe Bryant and Philly’s Allen Iverson, Jordan replied that he would “outsmart” them.

No offense, Mr. Jordan, but the only way you will be able to stop such rising stars driving past you will be by blinding them with the glare off of one of your six championship rings.

Well, now that my rant on Jordan is over, let’s move on to a much happier topic…the Red Sox! What an amazing season from an extraordinary group of ballplayers, right?

Okay, now that the arrow on my “sarcastic meter” has broken, I will continue.

The main problem that must be solved is the status of Carl Everett, or Crazy Carl as he has come to be known. Everett’s latest scandal involved his verbal assault on Sox’ manager Joe Kerrigan just five days after the tragedies that hit the United States. The Red Sox front office acknowledged that such behavior showed no compassion whatsoever and suspended the embattled center fielder for a total of four games.

Just before Crazy Carl was scheduled to return to the field, he went for a second opinion on his leg injury, ensuring him to be out for the rest of the season. This was seen as a positive move on both sides: Everett wouldn’t have to go before the Fenway crowd and get booed up the Citgo sign and the Red Sox wouldn’t be embarrassed by sending Major League Baseball’s version of Dennis Rodman in front of a national audience.

Crazy Carl has two years left on his contract in which he is owed a total of around $17 million. Rumors are the Red Sox have spoken with a couple teams and are willing to pay the majority of his salary in order to get rid of him. Just think, last year there were also rumors that the Colorado Rockies were willing to trade Larry Walker to the Sox for Everett.

That will never happen again.

Clearly it is shaping up to be an interesting winter. From thousands of fans willing to pay thousands of dollars to see a middle-aged basketball player to the continuing adventures of Crazy Carl-there will be no boredom.

God Bless America.