Monday, October 30 12:26 PM: On your mark…get set…go leave things unattended to in McCormack Hall so that they will get stolen. Oh, you already did, thus the Police filed yet another Larceny report. 2:45 PM: Police responded to an assault charge after a UMB woman filed a complaint that somebody had been touching her in a sexual manner. Police have not found the character, but do have his description, and you better look out bubba…Smokey is on your tail. Tuesday, October 31 2:46 PM: Police are investigating a larceny at the Administration Building. Hopefully they will find your cell-phone so that it can ring and interrupt a professor’s long, thought-out lecture. 3:44 PM: Somebody had something stolen from them on the Campus Plaza. Hey, I bet losing that something wasn’t half as bad as the pride you lost from being so inconsiderate as to have left something completely unattended to in an outdoor public area? Wednesday, November 1 2:57 PM: The security alarm went off in Wheatley Hall.  Police investigated, but found nothing and nobody to have triggered it. 7:19 PM: A woman reported somebody stalking her around the UMB Plaza. Police immediately attended to the complaint, but were unable to apprehend him. They do however know the perpetrators description and are currently seeking him out. Thursday, November 2 10:14 AM: Larceny reported at the Clarke Center. 12:55 PM: Administration Building, Larceny, Reported to Police. 7:02 PM: Police arrested two people for trying to cut down and steal one of the flags hanging over the Campus Center Atrium. The two were apparently drunk at the time, and must now face destruction of property and larceny charges, but only one of the banner bandits was charged with Disorderly Conduct. Now that’s a Larceny! Saturday, November 4 11:03 AM: Fire alarms went off at Wheatley Hall. Police investigated only to find the cause to be mechanical, and that the alarms went off when the water pipaes lost pressure. 2:30 PM: Police are in the process of investigating a big heist that ensued in the Campus Center. (Translation: Larceny reported in the Campus Center) Sunday, November 5 5:06 PM: A couple of kids were throwing rocks at the Crystal Line Busses from the circle inside Campus Center Drive. Police reported to the scene, but found the kids had left by then. Monday, November 6 2:46 PM: Police responded to a reported accident on University Drive West. Police arrived at the scene only to find that the crash victim/perpetrator had left. Witness report claims there was no personal injury, but only property damage. 6:32 PM: Drummers were drumming too hard for a neighboring class in McCormack room 2-628. The noise complaint was filed to Campus Police, and they met the noisemakers and came to a resolution. MATERIAL PRINTED IN POLICE LOG IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE MASS MEDIA. IF YOU HAVE ANY COMMENTS OR COMPLAINTS PLEASE CONTACT US, NOT CAMPUS POLICE.