Monday, November 20
9:32 AM: It’s gone, and don’t go expecting the police to find your lost things. This pandemic of larcenies must stop, and maybe that will start as soon as you stop leaving your things lying around. Tuesday, November 21
9:53 AM: Two cars collided on University Drive. Luckily nobody was injured, and only one of the cars needed to be towed because of damage sustained in the accident.
10:01 AM: A driver got into an accident with a toll both in the University Drive North Parking Lot. The driver was fine, and the car sustained only minor damages…but you ought to see the other guy. Wednesday, November 22 11:39 AM: A suspicious person was reported to have been seen wandering around the Healey Library earlier in the morning. Police investigated the report, but found nothing to verify the sightings.
6:19 PM: A homeless man was reported for having tried to steal shoes out of a bin for clothing donations. Police intervened in the disturbance between the man and the protector of all clothing donations. The two resolved their dispute, and the homeless man left victorious with a new pair of somebody else’s shoes.
Friday, November 24
2:39 PM: Security alarms went off in the McCormack building. Police went to the scene, but only found hundreds of students attending class. Everything was secure.
3:44 PM: A larceny was reported on the Campus Plaza. Police believe the perpetrator might still be lurking in our midst, and that he or she might very well leave their property lying around again.
Sunday, November 26
10:12 AM: Police found graffiti on one of the Wheatley Hall front elevators. The graffiti is believed to be gang tags that the Police have seen around campus before.
1:23 PM: A report was filed against two women for harassing each other. Police arrived in the Student Center to resolve the issues between the two women, but the scene had dispersed by the time police arrived. Monday, November 27
2:16 AM: A false fire alarm went off in the Healey Building. We here think it to be the ghost in the library stacks.
Tuesday, November 28
12:22 AM: An alarm call was reported in the Campus Center. Police checked the scene and found everything to be OK.
5:41 AM: Our ghostly alarm-tripper was witnessed, yet again, wandering in the Healey Library…Oooohhh!
8:02 AM: An alarm call went off in the Campus Center. Police arrived, checked the scene and found everything to be alright.
8:05 AM: An alarm call went off in the Campus Center. Police arrived, checked the scene and found everything to be alright.
8:15 AM: An alarm call went off in the McCormack Building. Police arrived, checked the scene and found everything to be alright.
11:36 AM: A disturbance was reported after an adviser and student purportedly got into a confrontation. Police showed up at the scene, and the fight was soon there after resolved. It is our guess that the student will not be getting those classes he wanted for next semester.
Wednesday, November 29
10:16 AM: A female was taken to the hospital after having suffered seizures in the McCormack Building.
12:18 PM: A woman was reportedly harassed the night before. The woman had supposedly faced some unwarranted harassment on the Crystal Line Bus on her way home.
7:30 PM: An alarm went off in Wheatley Hall. Police attended to the scene, and found nothing to have potentially triggered the alarm.
Thursday, November 30
5:15 PM: A larceny occurred in the McCormack Building. Remember folks larceny is not the disease, but the symptom. The disease, it seems, is idiocy; which has been running rampant these past months.
9:19 PM: A security alarm went off in the McCormack building. Police checked the scene and found everything to be hunky-dory.
Friday, December 1
9:43 PM: A hit & run went down on the University Drive North. Police showed up at the scene only to find that the person who had reportedly been hit had fled.
10:36PM: A reported hit & run in the North Parking Lot on University Drive after somebody’s car was hit while parked during the day. Police filed the report.
Saturday, December 2
3:05 AM: An alarm went off in the service building. Police checked out the scene, and found nothing to be out of the ordinary… sound familiar?
Sunday, December 3
10:59 AM: Police attended to a medical call in Science Center, and found a pregnant woman to be suffering from labor pains. Police took the woman to the hospital, and she was reportedly fine at the time.
11:49 AM: A false fire alarm went off in Wheatley Hall. Police responded to the scene and checked to make sure everything was secure.
4:54 PM: A UMB woman reported that a man had been intimidating her in the Healey Library due to her partaking as a witness in an ongoing case in the Boston area.