1. Black ChristmasA slew of C-list former TV actors, including Oliver Hudson, Michelle Trachtenberg and Lacey Chabert, star in this remake of the awesomely horrific 1974 flick about a bunch of sorority girls picked off by a murderous psycho. It’s where former stars of The WB have been sent to die, or at least, where their careers did.

2. Rocky BalboaAdrian’s dead, Rocky’s son has become a corporation head, and Rocky’s a down-and-out bar owner. But when a computer-simulated fight suggests that he could keep up with the current heavyweight champion, he signs on for yet another comeback bout, complete with a Diane Warren theme song to spur him on. Rocky’s like, 87 at this point; please, Sly, let it go.

3. BobbyAn ensemble cast that includes Anthony Hopkins, Lindsay Lohan, Sharon Stone, Demi Moore, Elijah Wood, William H. Macy, Laurence Fishburne, Helen Hunt and Martin Sheen stars in director Emilio Estevez’s fictional account of the assassination of Bobby Kennedy. Great idea, treacly execution. It’ll be a cracked-out mess, we promise you.

4. A Good YearDirector Ridley Scott reunites with his Gladiator star Russell Crowe in a dramedy about a businessman who inherits a French vineyard, falls in love with the scenery, the wine and the women, and learns What’s Really Important in Life. Oh, my God.

5. Night at the MuseumBen Stiller is a security guard at the museum and accidentally unleashes an ancient curse that brings the prehistoric animals, including the man-chasing dinosaurs, to life. Aren’t we all kinda over Ben Stiller?