Monday, February 2610:37 AM: A larceny was reported in the Clark Center Gym. Too stingy to buy a lock? How ironic.

Tuesday, February 274:48 AM: An alarm went off in Wheatley; our intrepid police force checked the area and found it to be secure.

12:12 PM: Police were called when somebody had a seizure in Wheatley Hall. The party was taken to the hospital.

1:28 PM: A truck hit a sprinkler head outside in receiving at the service building, which set off a fire alarm.

5:06 PM: Vandalism reported in beacons lot. Yes, parking is terrible, but there are peaceful ways to resolve our issues.

Wednesday, February 283:20 PM: A larceny was reported in the Campus Center. Keep your eyes peeled for suspicious looking persons stalking the Campus Center. Or just stop leaving your stuff lying around.

Thursday, March 14:59 PM: A disturbance was reported in the Campus Center after an outburst at the bursar’s office. The party was escorted from the scene. Yes, tuition is high, but remember, there are peaceful ways to resolve our issues.

Friday, March 29:04 AM: A harassment incident in McCormack was reported.

The Mass Media would personally like to thank all members of the UMB community and those who use our campus for making this a relatively uneventful week in crime on campus. Keep up the good work and stop stealing stuff!

The Mass Media Police Log is a product of The Mass Media and is not published or endorsed by Campus Police.