Tuesday, April 2410:08 AM: Petty larceny reported in the Clark Center to begin our week of crime.

Wednesday, April 258:39 AM: A one-car accident occurred on University Drive East. The car had property damage after it struck a ticket dispenser. Perhaps another citizen infuriated by parking costs.

10:27 AM: A person was arrested in Weatley after being apprehended by the police. Said individual apparently had an outstanding warrant. Well, it’s good to know our campus is full of upstanding citizens.

11:55 AM: Medial assistance was needed in the Service Lot. A biker suffered a severe laceration on his leg and was transported via ambulance to the hospital.

1:25 PM: The last larceny of the year to be recorded in The Mass Media Police Log occurred on the eighth floor of the Healey Library. School is almost out guys, I’m afraid you’re going to have to get your writing utensils and stationary elsewhere.

Thursday, April 264:20 PM: Medical assistance was needed in the Administration Building. A patient in Health Services required further attention and was taken to the hospital. 7:11 PM: Campus Police assisted the T-Police in detaining several suspects for an armed robbery.

Saturday, April 285:01 AM: Alarms went off in Wheatley. Everything checked and secure.

8:23 PM: Medical assistance needed in the Campus Center. Party complaining from abdominal pains was transferred to the hospital. Perhaps from eating some unsatisfactory campus food…? Or not.

Sunday, April 291:11 AM: Early morning troubles when a bunch of kids were caught hanging around. A juvenile complaint was filed and the kids were happily sent on their merry way. My question: if said delinquents were ‘juvenile’ and underage, why would police send them on their way this time of the night? Personal opinion of course.

The Police Log is a product of The Mass Media and in no way reflects the attitude and views of Campus Police.