Allow me to preface with this statement: I hate money. Money is a very high point of stress for me. Particularly now that I have moved 750 miles away from my hometown of Fenton, Michigan to attend college, leaving behind the people who have helped me cope with my stress the most, it presents even more of a challenge because it’s harder to deal with. I don’t like thinking about money-I’d rather just sit around and read or do something productive instead of pulling my hair out over something that ends up being beyond my control.

Okay, that’s out of the way. For now. Regardless of how I may feel, it’s one of those necessary evils. Everyone needs it, because things cost money. Money for food, money for rent, money for cars and insurance, money for electricity, money for clothing, money for whatever. You get the point.

I’ve been very fortunate for the fact that my mother’s family lives here in Massachusetts and that my aunt and uncle have let me live rent-free in their basement without me having to worry about food or electricity or Internet or anything of that nature. Pretty nice, right? No worries, right?

Wrong.

Money is dumb and I hate it, yet I can’t live without it. I have to pay for my T pass [round-about $80 a month], and if I need clothing or anything of that nature, I have to pay for that myself. Also, I need to be saving up for my plane ticket back home in the winter. You know, so I can visit my family, friends and boyfriend? Yeah, kind of important.

Then, of course, if I want to fly back home in the summer, which I’m sure that I will, I’ll have to save up for that, also.

Oh, the wide world of debt! I don’t even know how much debt I’m in yet-my Federal Stafford loan, which was supposed to be credited to my account on Sept. 1, has yet to show up and lower my balance, and my loan from Sallie Mae still says “Awaiting information,” yet doesn’t bother to inform me of what information they still need to receive.

So, I can’t get a book card from the Bursar’s office to buy my books, which I need for class, because of an unpaid balance. Thanks to money that I’ll never really handle.

Okay, time to take a break for, like, two point five. I know that I’m a very fortunate person. I received a lot in financial aid to come to UMass and I’m very lucky.

I know that there are people who have it much worse than I, and would love nothing more than to complain about the fact that they’re worried about their loans and how they’re going to afford things that haven’t even come yet.If they want to complain, I’m sure that the opinion editor of the Mass Media will accept a column. E-mail him; he’s a jolly guy. All right, break over.

It’s just so frustrating to have absolutely no idea what is going on with things that are essentially beyond my control.

I shouldn’t have to pay for college. Education should be free. It was free in elementary school, it was free in middle school [I guess around here it’s known as “junior high”] and it was free in high school. Now, I’m being charged up the ass for school.

Why? Is this just accumulated debt from free public schooling?

And because I’m from another state, I have to pay more money than everyone from Massachusetts even though it already cost me a bunch of money to fly out here and have all of my stuff shipped to me?

It just feels unfair. Having to pay for school just feels so completely wrong. I value my education, but I’m scared of debt. I’m afraid of what will happen after I graduate, particularly if it’s really hard for me to find a job.

Bah on this.Money sucks.