Dear UMBemine, Ive been dating this guy for about a month and things are going great, the only problem being that he is chronically late and flaky. It also wouldn’t be so bad if he called or something to let me know, but he doesn’t do that either. I know it’s a little thing, but it really bugs me and I’ve talked to him about it and nothing has changed. I want to continue this relationship, but should I be worried?

-Punctuality Princess

Now we all blow off our fair share of classes, papers, sonograms and the like, but usually this is because we have something better to do or are not super-motivated in the first place. That being said, spending time with your significant other should not fall into either of these categories. Maintaining a healthy relationship is like a job – and from your guy’s spotty performance record, it may be time to fire him from your relationship. I mean, the first month is supposed to be amazing with the novelty of a fresh relationship and the thrill and excitement of getting to know someone new. Just imagine, if he’s barely there in month one, you may never even see him when it comes to month six! Also, if he can’t at least make this small effort early in your relationship, just think about when it comes to bigger things down the road. This is definitely a big, fat, neon red warning sign.

However, if this guy really does mean a whole hell of a lot to you and you’re willing to take on a bit of a project, there are things you can do. First off, you are going to have to accept the fact that if there’s going to be any change it’s going to be very gradual. This is clearly a part of who he is and buying him a watch will not fix his problem right away, nor will increasing the amount of times you yell at him or call him when he’s not where he is supposed to be. The most likely solution will be that you compromise on him being more punctual; that is making an emphasis on him being on time for certain things and beyond that just accepting him for the flaky jackass he is. You can also resort to the old standard of telling him to be somewhere half an hour earlier than he’s supposed to be and hoping for the best. Another way to go is explain to him that every minute he’s late will be added on to foreplay for you. Whichever one of these roads you decided to go down, just remember that changing a person is never easy and is definitely a lot harder than kicking the jerk to curb and finding yourself a guy with a day planner and a palm pilot.