You know what the Founding Fathers got wrong? The concept of free speech. Everybody and their mothers loves to shield themselves in the American flag and the First Amendment. But only when it suits their agendas.

Identity Europa, or IE, promulgates a rhetoric of white European pride, and encourages students (and faculty) who identify themselves with the continent to add their voices to the group’s already divisive and hypocritical message.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t white Europeans ruled the planet for the past eternity? How much more pride does one need to have? We had the Nazi Party, we have gone through three different facets of the KKK, we have continued to “coexist” with neo-Nazis, the Aryan Brotherhood, and now, the Alt-Right, plus a plethora of similar white-power factions. Do we really need another Eurocentric “social” group?

That is a fair question, because it is essentially the same as the “do we really need another rapper?” question. And the answer to both questions is a resounding “no.” However, unlike race-dividing groups, rappers aren’t spouting off about white people. So, you tell me, which one is the lesser of two “inconveniences?”

European history has a fixed position on academic curriculum, and that extends to classrooms from kindergarten to grade twelve in every American pre-secondary institution. Haven’t we been beaten over the head repeatedly with history lessons on the “might” and “bravery” of the white European? From the ancient civilizations of Greece and Rome to the Catholic Church and the Knights Templar, from Christopher Columbus and the French Revolution to slavery and colonialism, we’ve been taught about the “might” of the white European. Furthermore, European history is all around us. It is in our architecture, and in the names of our biggest cities and smallest towns. It is in our food, in our beverages, our technology, our clothing, our system of governance, and our laws.

What need is there for the most pronounced cultural history in existence to all of a sudden treat Eurocentrism as if it has been shrouded in obscurity? How is this not color-blind reverse racism at its finest? Simply put: Identity Europa, you have miscalculated your marketing campaign. “Middle America” is not here, not on this campus. Your efforts would be better suited in one of the Trump states. They’ll believe this hype, at least for a little while.

Let’s be real here. We live on a planet where a third of the Earth’s population is Muslim and/or people of color. This means that the men and women that adhere to IE’s message are severely outnumbered on a global scale by those who oppose this sense of hubris. Europe is the smallest continent on the globe. Not only that, but it is becoming increasingly overpopulated, with an agriculture that is fleeting. If IE’s endgame is solely to fan the flames of Aryanism amid the white population worldwide, then so be it. But we all know that your bark is worse than your bite.

This organization is no more than a group of misguided people with a major case of identity crisis, no doubt. If one wants to bathe in the glory of his or her ancestors, go to the museum and look at the artwork of white European painters and sculptors. Find a book on European history, because literally, there are millions of them. Or, better yet, book a flight and go to Europe. Visit ancient battle sites and other places in the various countries across the continent.

My ethnicity is that of West-Indian American. In other words, black American. However, it is entirely possible that I may be of Polish descent as well. Apparently, 215 years ago, over 5,000 Polish men were sent by Napoleon to the then-French colony of Haiti to serve as a military legion during the Haitian Revolution of 1802. Shockingly, a majority of the Poles sided with the revolutionary slaves out of admiration, and helped them defeat the white French regime. In the end, the Poles were allowed to stay in the now-liberated Haiti and assimilated into the predominantly black population.

My father was Haitian. Hence, it is entirely possible that I, too, am of partial European blood. So, I ask you now: is my candidacy valid? Before you answer, just know that my birth certificate is written in the language of “Give-Me-a-Break!” Ergo, it is useless to ask me for it.

Identity Europa, the next time you put up a flyer on school property (without permission, of course), make sure your message is inclusive to ALL Europeans of every IMAGINABLE ethnicity. To show our “support” for IE, my friends and I have decided to close this article with parting words straight from the Fatherlands.

Pozdrowienia w języku Polskim! (Greetings)

Buongiorno in Italiano! (Good morning)

Buenas tardes en español (Good afternoon)

Bonne chance de France! (Good luck)

und Auf Wiedersehen auf Deutsche! (and Goodbye)

“Live Long and Prosper.” (Vulcan)

Sincerely, your friend,
Onyx