Congratulations, college students! Everyone that is experiencing this campus should be proud to know that years or even months from now, they can enjoy the fruits (and mid-sized sports sedans) of this labor. When transitioning to the full time work force, do not neglect the past. The trials that consumed you, the cost of $30 on Rogaine at the age of 23 (just as a precautionary measure), the endless humiliation of never having the money to get new clothes at the Good Will, and the battering of your self confidence as you juggled your responsibilities to your school and your job.This rant is far more about the latter. No, no. Not the responsibilities. Not the school itself. The way latter; the job. As college students, we all suffer from a horrible sickness. This sickness manifests itself whenever we find ourselves outside the campus setting and away from textbooks. The sickness what we call a “college job”. Thanks in most part to a social institution we call the diploma, the only way we can find ourselves in a more gratifying occupation is by completing school and receiving our piece of parchment. If it were just a piece of parchment, one could have used it at that Borders bathroom when they realized the stall was out of necessary toiletries. Yet, it is not just a piece of dead tree, but an important piece of paper signifying your ability to balance time and energy, your willingness to sacrifice, and a commitment to leaving that shitty job (or jobs) you’ve worked at for 4 or more years. I work in food service, at a sandwich shop. As I am in school and also working this job, people will ask me “Hey Tyler. What do you do?” and I will either give the boring answer of “I’m a student; please give me all the cash in your wallet because I can’t afford a toothbrush”. Or since I work strictly with submarine sandwiches, I will give the impressive and misleading answer, “I am a submarine engineer!” The majority of the jobs that we students hold during our tenure at school are, for lack of a better word, crap. We get treated like lower class citizens, after working our frontal lobes for 4 hours at school; we must succumb to the mindless rigmarole of a dead end job. Working at my sandwich shop, I get customers who constantly disrespect my ability to be anything more than a glorified George Foreman grill. One customer told me, after putting French fries into a bag for her take-out order, “Hey, I don’t like people touching my food!”…”Forgive me ma’am, let me get our robot to do that for me, or rather, let me use my Jedi mind power to levitate the French fries into your bag next time”. This situation is all too real to anyone that has worked in food service, but the disrespect is not exclusive to people working at restaurants. If you work at a Foot Locker, you get stepped on, if you work at a Chile’s, people put hot peppers on your deodorant stick, and if you work at a coffee shop…well, if that’s the case, I’ve probably tried to get your phone number. Aside from the creep getting your phone number, your boss is usually a jerk, your job is not interesting or engaging in any way, and you feel exhausted every time you punch out. To the few of you out there who have a cool job during school, or to the people that don’t have to work while they are in school: There is a campus full of busboys, baristas, bartenders, and bouncers who really want to tell you off.  Editor’s Note:  If you need assistance finding a job to hate, or maybe even one that is attached to your future line of work you can check out the Office of Student Employment website:  http://www.umb.edu/students/employment/index.html.  You may even find one on campus… Don’t forget the Mass Media is usually looking for contributors!  -S.F.