Aries: March 21st- April 19thAlthough you are both attractive and charming, your time is running out. You may be indirectly, yet deeply, involved in a pyramid scheme.Taurus: April 20Th- May 20ThIt will start as a sugar rush on Thursday and then quickly escalate into a full-blown fit of happiness. Unfortunately, the good feeling will disappear once your mind clears and you reflect on the miserable circumstances of your life.Gemini: May 21st-June 21stYou will set off a smoke alarm on Saturday, but you may escape the blame if you act quickly. Avoid poultry at all cost on Wednesday.Cancer: June 22ND-July22NDSchoolwork will have to take the back seat this week, as your personal life is too damn ridiculous. Watch for the lusty eye of a handsome/beautiful stranger,enjoy the flirtation but avoid consummation.Leo: July 23rd-August22ndA chance encounter on Monday will have a widespread influence in your life, though not a positive one. An unrelated awkward moment in a public bathroom on Thursday will haunt you forever.Virgo August 23rd-September22ndKeep your chin up Colombo things due have a way of sort-in themselves out without your tireless investigation. If you just go with the flow this week things should turn out fine, struggle against or try to control the flow and it will wash you away like a turd in a bowl.Libra: September 23rd-October22NDYou will meet a misty blue eyed stranger,They will take you out to dinner and thier hands will be as spatchcocks.Scorpio: October 23rd-November 21stTrust your normal skeptical instincts and ignore all pennies heads up or otherwise.Sagittarius: November 22nd-December 21st Optimism be damned this week, if you see clouds you better bring your umbrella.Capricorn: December 22nd-January 19thA nude blind man will stare longingly at you through your window, carefully consider the situation before notifying authorities.Aquarius: January 20th-February 18th”Your the plow man in the valley with a face of mud,. Your the man with roses when she aint got none” The Rolling Stones Loving Cup.Pisces: February 19th-March 20thDue not overwhelm yourself, with your own lamentations. The obstacles set before can be conquered by our own force of will provided you remain confident and work to your fullest potential. Beware of wooden hand rails( nasty splinters)