Don’t get me wrong. I like cats. I have one myself, and she’s awesome. But I always wonder at certain “cat people”, the people who don’t like dogs at all. Seriously? How can someone not love a dog? They’re happy and fun and . . . well, let’s just list out the reasons why dogs are much cooler than cats.

First, dogs have the greatest attitudes when it comes to their interaction with their owners. Not only are they always up for something fun (see #5), they have great attitudes toward those they percieve as good. You are the most lovable person in the world with a dog. Sometimes, it sucks to be a human. You have to work a job you hate, or your significant other might dump you, or you might just have a bad day on the train, and you just end up feeling under-appreciated and unloved. But if you have a dog, you will never have to worry about that. If you love your dog, he will pay it back tenfold. There will never be anything more excited to see you than a dog, and you don’t even have to do anything special. You just have to literally walk into your house, and he will be there with adoring eyes and an exuberant greeting.

Second, dogs keep you healthy. Sure, sometimes you don’t want to go walking outside when it’s 90 degrees out. But, you know, dogs need to go for walks. They’ll not only force you to get off the couch, but they take you around the neighborhood and are an excellent conversation starter with the neighbors. Strong communities are good for your mental health, as is the unwavering love from your dog.

Third, dogs actually protect you. You think a dog is going to let some weirdo come into your house at night? Not without a hell of a lot of barking. You know what a cat would do? If it even deigned to lift an eyelid, it would look at the weirdo intruder for about a second, and then close it and go back to sleep. Dogs are incredibly loyal–you often hear of a dog that saved its master in some way, from protecting children from animals or a stranger to helping people out of burning buildings. Does this happen with cats? Ever?

Fourth, dogs have shows, where the hundreds of different breeds show off their discipline and ability to learn. You know what cats have? “Fashion shows”. That’s because cats are fiercely independent and generally cannot be trained like dogs.

Lastly, dogs actually want to do stuff. Wanna go walk around somewhere? Grab the leash and jingle it. Your dog will be there in approximately .4 seconds. Snap. Bam. You have a walking partner, and he’ll be really, really excited to join you. Wanna snuggle? Your soft, ultra-cuddly dog will take care of that. Wanna teach your dog something weird? Cool. They love to learn, play, and as long as you’re willing, they will be too.

I could go on, but I think my case has been sufficiently supported. Dogs are wonderful pets, and deserve all of the love we can give–because no matter how much we can give, it’ll never match what they give us back.