We have a vampire on this campus, and I think it is time to reveal them! I do not want to be sued for “lying” or cause any issues for myself, so I am going to just call them Professor Vlad. The first thing you need to know is that vampires are real! Not only are they real, this is the best possible place for a vampire to work. I even spoke to a few of our professors of mythology, Dr. Woolf and Professor Boo, about this. They told me how a vampire might go about their day on our campus. Due to all of the classrooms without windows there would be plenty of places to teach. The abandoned parking garage would make it easy for a vampire to make its way around the school. There’s also the fact that a new trend has started where students cover their necks with scarfs. You might think it is from the cold weather but I know they are trying to cover up the vampire bites they got during office hours. I know that thing has looked at my neck and thought about draining me of ALL my blood, so what would keep them from doing it to others. I have also started to carry around a sharpened pencil for protection. I see it as a mini stake. My mother said she thinks I have gone a little crazy but I know what I saw!
This professor is 100 percent a vampire. Every morning they come in with a giant bottle of prune juice. One, who drinks prune juice? There is no reason to drink that stuff, plus it does not even look like juice. That thing is drinking BLOOD. They are drinking blood in front of all of us! Then there is the fact that they do not walk, they hover. They glide over the floor and move along it like they are on a moving sidewalk. It is not only weird, but disturbing. Then their skin! Their skin is as white as snow and lifeless. They are just a walking corpse! I connected the dots one day when I was going to their office hours.
I was coming up to their office to get help on my essay. They assigned us an essay about the black plague and what it was like to watch people die around you. I walked up to the door and I waited for my appointment time. It was weird because all of a sudden I heard this loud bang. I opened the door and saw their face COVERED in blood. The student in their arms was lifeless as blood dripped to the floor. They dropped her, reaching their hand out to me, I ran for my life! There was no way that thing was going to get me and drink my blood! It was sunny out, so I knew the only way I would be able to make it was if I went out onto the catwalk. They screeched as I ran down the hall with them right on my heels. Just a few more feet, I would have made it, then I felt a hand. A cold, lifeless, hand on my shoulder. I looked up into the creatures eyes and felt all of the blood in my body drain. Grabbing the only thing in my pocket, I stabbed them in the shoulder with a pencil. I was not going to be eaten! Luckily, it loosened its grip just enough so that I could run into the light of the sun. Falling to my knees in the catwalk, I vowed to never go to their office hours again.