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The Mass Media

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Horoscopes March 29th 2011

Aries: Like Alec Baldwin, a fellow Aries, you are a powerful and pioneering individual. Charge full steam ahead as you submerge yourself in massive study sessions with interludes of 30 Rock re-runs.

Taurus: You share your sign with the iconic Jack Nicholson. Like him, you are determined and clever. Unlike him, however, you did not reside in an insane asylum for a short period in your young life (hopefully).

Gemini: Luck interjects itself into many areas of your life these days, however, your intelligence does not stem from cosmic interference. You are powerfully smart, just like your fellow Gemini Clint Eastwood.

Cancer: This is your time to shine! You share a sign with Princess Diana, and are looking forward to the juicy details about the upcoming nuptials between Prince William and Kate. After all, you are extremely loyal and seek out like-minded people in your quest for a united family.

Leo: No, it is not a mistake that you and the stylish Jackie O share a zodiac sign. Similar to her, you seek out the latest styles and people look to you as a fashion guru. Buy that pair of zebra-striped wedge sandals this week and turn the dimly lit hallways of Wheatley into a catwalk for your admirers.

Virgo: Take Keanu Reeve’s advice and stay away from speeding buses this week! You never know when one of the campus bus driver’s is going to get excited about too much rain or snow.

Libra: Your fellow celebrity Libra is Tim Robbins, who is characteristic of your gentle and kind nature. Along with the pleasing demeanor, people flock to you for your good looks and appetite for justice.

Scorpio: Along with Leonardo DiCaprio, a fellow water sign, you have an intense and focused personality, which at some times can make people nervous. Center yourself this week with deep breathing techniques. This will help not only in social interactions but with your upcoming exam schedule.

Sagittarius: Like Woody Allen, you are an idealist and visionary in your chosen field. You also tend to be short-tempered, however, and require a consistently comfortable environment.

Capricorn: With Anthony Hopkins and Robert Duvall sharing the same characteristics as you, you can be sure that you will be a success! Your sometimes overly serious nature can dissuade people from approaching you, however, so work on relaxing.

Aquarius: Oprah Winfrey is the most recognizable Aquarian, and like her, you have a utopian and idealistic nature with a deep passion for humanitarianism. Consider your natural inclination to help when wondering what to do this weekend.

Pisces: Like Ted Kennedy, you are popular with many different types of people and make a good leader. Think about starting a new club for your diverse group of friends.