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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

3-4-24 PDF
March 4, 2024
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February 26, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.
Bobby's Inside Story
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Horoscopes 3/1/11

Aries

If you haven’t got all your books you should scramble to get them from the web. Avoid the bookstore at all costs paper cuts are in your future.

Taurus

I would suggest you take more left turns, 3 for every right turn. This will ensure good luck and satisfying catharsis.

Gemini

Procrastination is the devils gateway drug. If your not careful you’ll get hooked on idleness, before you know it you’ll be on the hardcore stuff, apathy, slavishness, and lassitude. It’s a slippery slope.

Cancer

Be your own woman/man, live for yourself, be determined, do not knuckle under. You will be flushed with a strong sense of dignity and honor.

Leo

Hell hath no fury like a women scorned. You reap what you sue. You shall rue the day you jilted your lover.

 Virgo

Forecast is cloudy, unsettling stuff very unclear but very unpleasant, a nasty medical procedure, uncomfortable examination, perhaps some voyeurism, watch out for creeps.

Scorpio

It turns out love is a one way (her way) street and you are stuck on it.

Sagittarius

Late Thursday afternoon in a moment of exasperation you will storm away from your work, and hulkishly  jestaticulate yourself into what you think is an empty public bathroom while audibly venting your frustration. You will then be startled and feel slightly embarrassed that a bearded stranger has heard you talking to yourself.

Capricorn

You are in a moment of flux if you where lucky last week you will be very unlucky this week and vise versa. Expect strange many strange coincidences. Beware of cat-people.

Aquarius

Some of the latest news in zoology will depress you late in the week. Maintain your healthy diet, as you will step through a minefield of temptation.

Pieces

Take up a hobby; try to find a nitch something to work at being better than any of the people you know at. It’s good to have goals and defining attributes.