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The Mass Media

The Mass Media

The Mass Media

2-26-24 PDF
February 26, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.
Bobby's Inside Story
February 26, 2024

It’s All in the Hips

It’s expected of us females to take care of ourselves as well as our coslopus. I mean, we don’t want to suffer the embarrassment of a foul odor or lose our lover’s face in the abyss that is our vajayjay (yes I said it).
We have options ladies! And among those are some I’ve tried: razors (painful but a quick fix for date night), depilatories (depends on your hair type but this could be difficult and smelly) and waxing (whoa Nelly can this hurt but you are left oh so smooth).  With those options come some fun little surprises: the landing strip, the martini glass, the Bermuda triangle or even the vajazzler!
The solution, of course, is a thorough cleaning here and a trim there while some dare to go bare. Whatever the case, the jungle is not safe. So with all the blood, sweat and tears we ladies dedicate to our primped poodles, should men be expected to do the same? And to what extent? Survey says…
Yes! Men, please do not let your junk become a place where the wild things roam. You cannot possibly think I would be attracted to such a place let alone put my face down there? It may have been the case that a lover has come back from a trip down under to find an unpleasant surprise on their face, or worse, in their mouth. Please take note and groom! Besides, if you aren’t taking the time to do so, who knows what could be hiding under there and what other unhygienic flaws you may have tucked away?
So what are the options for men? Well, for one, you can always trim. The tiny blade in your razor won’t chop off the goods.  You can also wax. I guess if you really wanted a martini glass sitting on your penis that’s cool. Or you can go full-on naked mole rat…or worse, the peen-jazzle (Google it).
The point here is that gardening should be universal. Trim the hedges.  My rant is done. Thank you.