The Mass Mullet

Call me crazy but I think that the next World Series champions will be none other than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

There is no logic or thoughtful analysis that accompanies this statement. I have been carefully observing the day-to-day activities of this underestimated squad, and I can’t help but feel that this is going to be their year. I’m sure most of you have heard of the Boston Red Sox Impossible Dream season of 1967. Well, it’s about happen all over again, except this time

Most “experts” would and have immediately dismissed my prediction as mad. They even said some mean things about my cat. But what do those schmarmy eggheads know? Nothing. Tell me who predicted that the Anaheim Angels would the World Series winners last year? No one, that’s who.

Yes, yes, I know that the Devil Rays finished with the worst record in baseball last year. And to be honest I can’t even name three players on the team. But I can’t ignore the premonition. Remember when the Tampa Bay Buccaneers were once the butt of every joke in the NFL? Well guess which team is the reigning Super Bowl champs? Damn straight. The Devil Rays will just ride the good luck that the Bucs have created.

In fact, I am so confident that the D-Rays will be World Series champs that I have even laid down a few Benjamins (actually quite a fee) when I went to Las Vegas during Spring Break. They had better win because that’s how I am going to finance next year tuition, and with this fee hike thing, winning this bet is the only option. If I don’t, I am completely screwed.

So let it be known throughout the land that you heard it here first: Tampa Bay kings of baseball in 2003. Every other major publication can sneer at me, as they have, but I know who’s going to have the last laugh: the Tampa Bay Devil Rays and I.