Sunday, April 27
10:58pm-An ambulance escorted a T bus driver to the hospital after he injured his ankle.
Monday, April 28
7:00pm-A suspicious substance was reported to be in McCormack by a UMass employee. The suspicious substance turned out to be a helium balloon cartridge. We all know what a menace to society people are when they suck in helium and then sound like Donald Duck.
8:33pm-A medical assist was needed after a student suffered an injury on University Drive North.
Wednesday, April 30
8:52am-Campus security assisted the FBI. The questions the FBI asked are super duper top secret.
4:11pm-An accident occurred on University Drive South. Property damage occurred. That really sucks.
8:28pm-Someone called 9-1-1 from a pay phone in the Healey Building. Then, they hung up, thereby unnecessarily inconveniencing all parties involved.
Thursday, May 1
10:50am-A larceny occurred in the Healey Building. That’s right, someone took something that didn’t belong to them. Where’s the humanity?
11:30am-A suspicious vehicle was reported in the Lower Garage. When campus security arrived, the suspicious mini-van had vamoosed. Mini vans are kinda scary, though.
2:39pm-Someone stole something from someone else in Wheatley Hall. The victim was flattered that their stuff was cool enough to steal.
4:12pm-Someone called 9-1-1 from the Clark Fire Lane and hung up.
6:56pm-Someone, either the other juvenile or someone else, called 9-1-1 from the 120 Lot and hung up.
7:26pm-A party called 9-1-1 from the Clark Athletic Center and hung up. OK. Public service announcement time. 9-1-1 is for emergencies, not to hear someone say hello in a voice that cares. Maybe you should get a friend.
10:54pm-A fire alarm went off in Wheatley Hall due to a mechanical malfunction.
Friday, May 2
8:17am-A person’s car was vandalized while parked on University Drive West.
Saturday. May 3
12:56am-Alarm calls went off in Wheatley Hall after a power outage.
1:41pm-Another car was vandalized. This time the car was parked on University Drive North. That’s just not cool.