Yup, it’s crunch time. And here is the recap of my previous plan: drink lots of coffee, pace yourself, and don’t watch TV while doing homework. See, the thing is, that it was so easy to write, but when it came to doing it, I just couldn’t. I mean, the power of procrastination is too strong for my weak will.

What did I do? I did drink coffee by the pot, only to be distracted by such classics as Tango and Cash, a buddy cop film staring Sylvester Stalone and Kurt Russell. I will give all who just read that ample time for it to digest. Yes, instead of doing my homework like a good little student, I watched Tango and Cash.

So now I have the mad dash to get all this homework done, and do goddamn Christmas shopping because of…Tango and Cash. Yeah, that hurts. Sounded like a good idea at first, I was going to sit down and watch a little TV and unwind before I took to the books and finished out a paper that had been gnawing at my mind like Star Jones on a Milky Way Bar. But what did I do? I watched a film that can only be described as crap, until 1:45 a.m.

Ah, procrastination, an art I’ve come to be so good at. Why, let’s just take today for another example. I could have come home and done my column and actually got some sleep. Sounds easy enough right? Well, I didn’t do that. What did I do? I played Xbox until almost one o’clock and then started this.

Yeah that’s good work huh? I mean why get stuff done and out of the way when I can do nothing for two hours and not sleep for a few days, right?

Now, let’s not act like I’m the only one out there who does this. I wrote the first installment of this topic two weeks ago and if anyone did follow my advice…you’re lying ’cause I was full of it. I mean, really, how do you resist the allure of the TV, calling to you like a seductive mistress. Then you take a “break,” and 15 minutes to let your eyes rest turns into goddamn Tango and Cash (I still can’t believe I watched the whole thing).

I wish there was a simple answer to quell the demon that is procrastination. But, there isn’t. So why fight it? Hell, the harder I fight the more time I waste on things I can’t even classify as stupid. I’m afraid if I fight anymore I might buy the entire first season of the Golden Girls (yes and it’s on DVD).

So as usual I will get it done. And as I pass in my final assignments and take my finals I will breathe a sigh of relief, for then I will be able to again waste my time in whatever fashion I choose. Now I got to go, Back to the Future III (yeah, the one with the train) is calling me away from my political science final paper.

Jay Upton is a Mass Media columnist. He can be reached at [email protected].