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The Mass Media

Advice with the Arts Editor: How to get anyone you want

Saichand Chowdary
Two students hang out in the Campus Center. Photo by Saichand Chowdary / Mass Media Staff.

We’ve all been there. There is one person you seem to see everywhere that you can’t get out of your head. Maybe they’re in the Dunkin’ line, or they sit in front of you in one of your lectures, or they live across the street. Either way, you’ve probably been in one of these situations. Well, here is your guide to get any person you want.

You have to start inward first. How can you expect someone to love you if you don’t love yourself? The short answer is, you can’t. Any relationship you get in while you don’t feel good about yourself is just going to make you feel worse. Why? Because you are selling yourself short! 

You don’t want that bottom-of-the-barrel, treats-you-like-trash person just because they were the first person to show interest. It’s not fair to you, and it’s not going to work out in the long run. And if it does, do you really want to spend your whole life miserable because you couldn’t give yourself what you deserve? 

“Well, how do I feel good about myself?” you say. That’s what I’m here to tell you. Find something about yourself you like and build your confidence around that. Maybe you like your fashion sense, or how strong-willed and ambitious you are. Whatever you pick, it’s a starting point. 

Anyone would be lucky to have a partner that has a good fashion sense and is strong-willed and ambitious like you! That’s the attitude you need to have, because you are a prize. You can’t just give yourself up to anyone, so they really need to prove that they are trustworthy enough for you to give them a part of yourself. 

If they’re proving that they aren’t trustworthy, don’t try to fix them. They shouldn’t change themselves to be with you. People can’t be fixed. Either they are trustworthy or they aren’t. So, if they aren’t, move on. Don’t beat yourself up about it like you did something wrong, because you didn’t. They just weren’t good enough for you.

A big part of knowing your worth is realizing that you don’t need a relationship to be whole. A relationship is a fun addition to your life, not your whole life. 

Someone wrote in for advice, saying, “Lately I’ve seen this… person around campus and I’ve been absolutely infatuated. They’re so tall, bright and handsome, and based on what I’ve heard about them, they seem so interesting. Most of my friends seem appalled by this… person, but I can’t get them off my mind. How do I talk to Bob—this person—without creeping them out? Or giving myself nightmares?”

Well, you have to give yourself more credit! Now, why would you creep out this…person just by talking to them? If you think they are worth your time and energy, then go for it! But make sure you aren’t putting them on a pedestal.

As you start talking and getting to know them, make sure that they are a good fit for you. Don’t just accept them into your life because they’re “tall, bright and handsome.” They might be attractive on the outside but have some serious problems on the inside that might prevent them from treating you the way you deserve to be treated. 

If your friends don’t like this… person, then maybe they have a point. Your friends can usually see things in people that you don’t want to see because you are so infatuated with them. Listen to them and hear them out before you make any moves. They might have a valid reason. 

Also, if this… person will give you nightmares, maybe don’t approach them! You don’t want to sacrifice your mental health for a tall, blue lighthouse.

About the Contributor
Rena Weafer, Arts Editor