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The Mass Media
Organizers and attendees pose in front of a banner for the Pokemon Go Community Ambassador program, the group which organized the Wild Area event.
Players gather in Boston for Pokemon Go Wild Area: Global 2024
Demonstrators lined the back of the Campus Ballroom during an information session in October, protesting the recent updates to the space use policy and university administration’s enforcement of the policy.
Former police commissioner Edward Davis consulted on updated protest policy
The front door of the Integrated Sciences Complex, which is featured in the thumbnail for the UMass Boston episode of The College Tour.
New season of “The College Tour” highlights UMass Boston
The UMass Boston police station, located in the Quinn Administration Building.
University releases 2024 Clery Act crime report
UMass Boston hosts panel for elimination of violence against women
Organizers and attendees pose in front of a banner for the Pokemon Go Community Ambassador program, the group which organized the Wild Area event.
Players gather in Boston for Pokemon Go Wild Area: Global 2024
Tyler, the Creator stands on a trailer outside the Converse store to perform a $5 show celebrating the release of his eighth studio album.
Tyler, the Creator holds pop-up concert in Boston
The Secretary of the Commonwealth’s office sends out voter information booklets with information about each ballot question.
Curious about the Mass. ballot? Here’s what to know
Question 2 would remove the MCAS graduation requirement for students like those at Boston College High School.
USG resolution endorses Question 2
A train arrives at the JFK/UMass station.
Red Line shutdown: What you need to know
The front door of the Integrated Sciences Complex, which is featured in the thumbnail for the UMass Boston episode of The College Tour.
New season of “The College Tour” highlights UMass Boston
UMass Boston hosts panel for elimination of violence against women
UMass Boston community members were encouraged to share their reasons for writing for the Undercurrents' National Day on Writing celebration.
English department celebrates National Day on Writing
Protestors stood behind attendees at the campus information session.
Administrators give campus update at information session
Environmental leaders gathered together at the end of the summit for a photo commemorating their collective accomplishments and passion for helping the planet. Photo Credit: Adam Perri.
Environmental leaders spark change at the Community Action Works Summit
Demonstrators lined the back of the Campus Ballroom during an information session in October, protesting the recent updates to the space use policy and university administration’s enforcement of the policy.
Former police commissioner Edward Davis consulted on updated protest policy
The UMass Boston police station, located in the Quinn Administration Building.
University releases 2024 Clery Act crime report
UMass Boston community members were encouraged to share their reasons for writing for the Undercurrents' National Day on Writing celebration.
English department celebrates National Day on Writing
More than 100 union members and students, many dressed in Halloween costumes, gathered outside Phillis Wheatley Hall to demand a living wage and criticize the administration’s response to an Oct. 8 vigil mourning the death of Marcellus Williams, who was executed by the state of Missouri despite questions of his innocence, and victims of the war in Gaza.
Union speak-out criticizes protest policy, disciplinary letters for members
The UMass Boston Police Department closed University Drive West while they documented the crash scene.
Student struck outside West Garage
Demonstrators lined the back of the Campus Ballroom during an information session in October, protesting the recent updates to the space use policy and university administration’s enforcement of the policy.
Former police commissioner Edward Davis consulted on updated protest policy
Students gather in the One-Stop Financial Office after UMass Boston guaranteed free tuition for eligible students through the Beacon Pledge.
UMass pledges free tuition for high-need students
Chancellor Robert A. Corrigan giving the address at the 1980 Commencement held at the Columbia Point campus plaza between the Quinn Administration Building and the Joseph P. Healey Library. Corrigan served as Chancellor from 1979-1988. Photo from the University of Massachusetts Boston digital collections.
Former UMass Boston Chancellor Robert Corrigan dies at 89
Campus activism heats up: UMass Amherst student protestors arrested
Students attending the Rally for Sayed Faisal in Cambridge. Photo courtesy of James Cerone/ Mass Media Staff.  
Boston community members seek justice for Sayed Arif Faisal
Question 2 would remove the MCAS graduation requirement for students like those at Boston College High School.
USG resolution endorses Question 2
The 2024-2025 term Student Government election candidates
2021 USG Election Results
2020 USG Election Results
Corrections: Vol. LVIII, Issue 6
Corrections: Vol. LVIII, Issue 2
Fund Public Higher Education Rally put on by Classified Staff Union, Professional Staff Union and Faculty Staff Union in 1990. Photo from the Healey Library Digital Archives.
Dig into the Archives: A history of protests at Boston’s UC Berkeley
Beacons huddle together during a timeout last season.
More than just saves: A profile on JJ Devine
The Jumpstart office located on the second floor of the Campus Center.
Jumpstart annual donation drive focuses this year on classroom supplies
Executive Chef Jocelyn Aurelien smiles for a portrait in the Dining Commons.
Executive Chef Jocelyn Aurelien makes waves in UMass Boston dining
Professor John Fulton, author of "The Flounder" and one of 35 winners of the National Endowment for the Arts grant. Submitted by Prof. Fulton.
Prof. John Fulton earns NEA grant for ‘The Flounder’
‘They’re unionizing’: Reports of raccoons continue, worsen
‘They’re unionizing’: Reports of raccoons continue, worsen
After a horrific accident, Joe DiPersio has resigned from The Mass Media. Get well soon and best wishes! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff
Due to a terrible accident, I hereby resign from my post
Bobby Beacon poses in his final form. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff
A final interview with Bobby Beacon
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff
Ask Bobby #37: What’s your favorite member of the deer family?
The Collins Catering Company brings about the wrath of God
People walk around Seaport District passing the Snowport Holiday Market.
Enjoy festive winter activities in Boston
Pedestrians walk past the Boston Common AMC movie theater.
Flying high: ‘Wicked’ reimagines the land of Oz
A projector displayed images of Jazz greats while students played covers of contemporary jazz songs.
‘Jazz! Live!’ showcases ‘improvisational takes’ by new student musicians
Customers shop at Trident Booksellers & Cafe before attending one of their many events.
Indulge in community events at Trident Booksellers & Cafe
‘Whodunit?’: ‘Clue: On Stage’ presents a thrilling murder mystery
‘Whodunit?’: ‘Clue: On Stage’ presents a thrilling murder mystery
A projector displayed images of Jazz greats while students played covers of contemporary jazz songs.
‘Jazz! Live!’ showcases ‘improvisational takes’ by new student musicians
‘Whodunit?’: ‘Clue: On Stage’ presents a thrilling murder mystery
‘Whodunit?’: ‘Clue: On Stage’ presents a thrilling murder mystery
Professor John Fulton, author of "The Flounder" and one of 35 winners of the National Endowment for the Arts grant. Submitted by Prof. Fulton.
Prof. John Fulton earns NEA grant for ‘The Flounder’
Five student actors rehearse their play during “New Voices, New Stories” dress rehearsal.
Giving playwrights the stage: ‘New Voices, New Stories’ celebrates student voices
Students wait in Snowden Auditorium for the UMBeats club meeting to begin.
UMBeats warms up for a new semester of music
Pedestrians walk past the Boston Common AMC movie theater.
Flying high: ‘Wicked’ reimagines the land of Oz
A student browses through Palestinian films, many of which are free through the Healey Library.
The vast culture and rich stories of Palestine told through film
A student watches horror media on their laptop. Photo by Mass Media staff.
Spiral into horror with “Uzumaki”
Beetlejuice posed in his black and white suit.
‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ is more than just another sequel
It looks like ‘Oppenheimer’ has won the war: Oscar nominations
Pedestrians walk past the Boston Common AMC movie theater.
Flying high: ‘Wicked’ reimagines the land of Oz
A projector displayed images of Jazz greats while students played covers of contemporary jazz songs.
‘Jazz! Live!’ showcases ‘improvisational takes’ by new student musicians
Tyler, the Creator stands on a trailer outside the Converse store to perform a $5 show celebrating the release of his eighth studio album.
Tyler, the Creator holds pop-up concert in Boston
More bands are killing their pop-punk sound. Is it working?
Students wait in Snowden Auditorium for the UMBeats club meeting to begin.
UMBeats warms up for a new semester of music
Emmanuel Zayas and Mariano Olivier Rodriguez run up court at a men’s basketball game last season.
Men’s basketball win streak sunk by Anchormen in overtime
Forward Keriann Farina shoots the ball against Rhode Island College at a home game last semester.
Rough sledding into the holidays for women’s basketball
Men’s hockey player skates down the ice with the puck during their last game.
Men’s hockey aims to rebrand after losing five of six matches
Beacons huddle together during a timeout last season.
More than just saves: A profile on JJ Devine
Lauren Westlund spikes the ball at the Beacons' final game.
Women’s volleyball season recap: Better plays, more competition
The team sits with coaches during a timeout.
Women’s volleyball winning, but lost LEC opener
Men’s soccer player Diego Gisholt sprints down field in game against UMass Dartmouth on Oct 2.
Men’s soccer drowns the Anchormen in LEC playoffs
UMass Boston Softball players gear up at a recent game. Photo provided by Beacons Athletics.
Softball continues strong as season’s end approaches
Outfielder Mariano Jimenez stares into the field after a tough loss on May 2. Photo provided by Beacons Athletics.
A breakdown of baseball’s season, and what’s to come
A photo of UMass Boston's Women's Lacrosse Coach Hannah Khin. Graphic provided by Beacons Athletics.
Recruitment strategies of UMass Boston coaches: Hannah Khin
Drake Maye and the Patriots showing signs of growth
Everything you need to know for Super Bowl LVIII
Illustration of Bruins’ right winger Trent Frederic. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.
Don’t poke the bear: Bruins fans have nothing to worry about
Men’s March Madness Final Four features one of the most unique lineups ever
Image of a stadium. Image sourced from CalMatters.  
With another Super Bowl in the books, what’s next for football?
Guard Emanuel Zayas dribbles the ball on the court. Photo by Dong Woo Im / Mass Media Staff.
Men’s basketball drowns Rhode Island College
UMass Boston junior sprinter Dorinda Okorji wins Second LEC Track Athlete of the Week / Photo and graphic courtesy of Beacons Athletics.
Track and field keeps showing promise with spike in performance
Forward Keriann Farina shoots the ball against Rhode Island College at a home game last semester.
Women’s basketball losing streak extends to four in a row
Men’s hockey players huddle during a home game. Photo courtesy of Beacon Athletics.
Men’s hockey picks themselves up after minor slip on ice
Forward Katie Wilbert shoots the puck against Salem State University at a home game on Jan. 26. Photo by Dong Woo Im / Mass Media Staff.
Leah Bosch leads women’s hockey to sixth straight victory
The exterior of Jeremiah Burke High School.
Considering the future of education in Trump’s America
A student sits in the University Health Service Center, which is also home to the Counseling Center.
The economics of loneliness — what is the cost of social isolation?
Celebrate your achievements this New Years, and reflect on how far you've come. Photo by bayasaa via Flickr is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
Fresh beginnings in the new year
Are professional coaches really hired to get fired?
Students at Emerson College's encampment for Palestine last spring sit and talk outside a campus building.
Gaza today, Gaza next year: Thoughts on the current political moment
UMass Boston raised tuition by 2.5 percent in the 2024-2025 school year.
A look into the rising cost of college education
The fight to value life and the fight for living wages
Students enjoying the Quad, which was completed earlier this year.
The need for sustainable urbanism at UMass Boston
Open letter to administration regarding Oct. 8 vigil
Posters and infographics from UMass Boston’s Students for Justice in Palestine’s Memorial for Martys of Gaza event.
Navigating between two worlds: How UMass Boston can support students from war-torn countries
Celtics spread joy with visit to Boston Children’s Hospital
Students gather at Emerson College’s encampment for Palestine on Thursday, Photo submitted by Elijah Horwath / Mass Media Staff.
Universities are violently repressing free speech—what’s new?
Students boarding the shuttle bus at the Campus Center. Photo by Saichand Chowdary / Mass Media Staff.
Why finding an affordable apartment feels like chasing a unicorn
Students sit outside the Campus Center over the summer. Photo by Olivia Reid / Photography Editor.
UMass’ economic contributions: More than just numbers
The reality of Boston’s domestic abuse problem
Students at Emerson College's encampment for Palestine last spring sit and talk outside a campus building.
Gaza today, Gaza next year: Thoughts on the current political moment
A future for immigrants in a divided America
A look at the UMass Boston skyline, where the rising ocean levels will become noticeable as the planet continues to rise in temperature.
Trump devastates climate change policy again
Students register to vote ahead of the election November 5.
Congratulations, America: An open letter to a those in the dark
A student scrolls through TikTok, one of the major ways politicians are reaching voters in the 2024 election.
Virality over values: Political distraction in the digital age
Are professional coaches really hired to get fired?
A future for immigrants in a divided America
Dr. Jemadari Kamara (left), Dr. Chihombori (center), and Dr. Joyce Hope Scott, leader of the Boston Pan-African Forum, address the UMass Boston and BU community in Ryan Lounge.
Contending with whiteness: Trust nothing that divides us
Anthony Richardson in the Colts’ 2023 season. Photo by Tennessee Titans licensed under CC BY 3.0.
Pro sports have no time to be patient
Joel Embiid, Number 21, at a game in 2018. Photo by Keith Allison licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.
Joel Embiid’s shove highlights the dark side of modern media
Letter to the Editor: Respect pro-Palestinian protestors
Letter to the Editor: Israeli Apartheid Week
Letter to the Editor regarding Israel and Palestine
Letter to the Editor
The Millennials’ Constitution—No, Just No
Vol. LVIII, No. 7
Vol. LVIII, No. 7
Vol. LVIII, No. 6
Vol. LVIII, No. 6
Vol. LVIII, No. 5
Vol. LVIII, No. 5
Volume LVIII, No. 4
Volume LVIII, No. 4
Volume LVIII, No. 3
Volume LVIII, No. 3
UMass Boston's independent student newspaper

The Mass Media
UMass Boston's independent student newspaper

The Mass Media

Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor

All content by Joe DiPersio
After a horrific accident, Joe DiPersio has resigned from The Mass Media. Get well soon and best wishes! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

Due to a terrible accident, I hereby resign from my post

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
Bobby Beacon poses in his final form. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

A final interview with Bobby Beacon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #37: What’s your favorite member of the deer family?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
May 14, 2024
A courtroom sketch of Bobby as a witness berates him. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The People vs. Bobby Beacon: A historic trial comes to an end

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
A recent graduate does the worm on the sidewalk. Get squirmin’! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Five steps to ensuring post-graduation happiness

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #36: Sick roommates

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 29, 2024
Bobby the Beacon is yelled at in court by a lawyer. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The People vs. Bobby Beacon: Lighthouse accused of foul play

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
A proud UMass Boston alum reads his rather controversial collection of books. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

UMass Boston alum finds success with controversial children’s book series

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #35: Do you ever yearn?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 22, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #34: Fugitive Upstairs

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
The Burger King and Pastafarians show their support for the newly minted Spaghetti Yeti on the Quad. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Burger King stands in solidarity with Pastafarians

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
The butler Jeeves runs down the hallways of Phillis Wheatley Hall covered in blood. Illustration Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Secrets behind University’s philanthropy dinner revealed

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 18, 2024
All hail Clump, the noodle messiah born of the Virgin Marcelo. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The Virgin Marcelo immaculately conceives noodle messiah

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Lying about a dead family member to get out of class is so old fashioned. Be like Mitch and try faking a terminal illness instead! Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Student fakes terminal illness to dodge calculus exam

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #33: Spray-On Pants

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 9, 2024
Interim Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco struggles in a pile of spaghetti in his dream. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Spaghetti coming out of your ass? Pastamonium serves up terror to both students and faculty

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024
Next week’s partial eclipse is out to get you. Illustratation by Olivia Reid / Photography Editor.

The end is nigh! Partial eclipse heralds Armageddon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #32: Friends with The Cat in the Hat?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 1, 2024

Comic: Gringlehook Vol. 6

By Joe DiPersio and Bianca Oppedisano
April 1, 2024

Comic: Pape

By Joe DiPersio, Bianca Oppedisano
March 27, 2024
Hungover Business Bobby gets interviewed by a hiring manager. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

A Beacon’s guide to writing an idiot’s resume

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 25, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #31: What are you wearing?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 25, 2024

Comic: Gringlehook Vol. 5

By Joe DiPersio, Bianca Oppedisano
March 21, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Ask Bobby #30: Do you have a rival mascot?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
A hipster goes retro and buys graded exams off of a suspicious man to cheat in class. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Hipster students turn to retro-cheating

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
A UMass Boston alum jumps in excitement, annoying hockey fans around him. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Seeing through blue-tinted glasses: Alumnus suffers from ‘Beacon Blues’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 18, 2024
Dogcelo sticks his tongue out awaiting pets. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Dogcelo provides therapy to students

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
A chimp stares into a mirror and sees a reflection of Waldo. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chimpanzee has world asking: ‘Where’s Waldo?’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #29: What’s the worst thing you’ve ever eaten?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 5, 2024
An inside look at Bobby B. Beacon’s insides. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.

Bobby’s Inside Story

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Politician Mario Rossellini gets hit in the head by a coconut while delivering a speech. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Pizza party politician assassinated by coconut on campaign trail

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #28: Praying at night?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 26, 2024
Mr. Woe Humpback lectures to his classroom full of students. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Anthropomorphic whale hired to teach university’s daycare

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024

‘Frindle’ has been banned in 35 states. Is Massachusetts next?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #27: Matching Brazilian butt lifts?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 21, 2024
Lonely Man rips one of his shirts open. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Loneliness: The ultimate superpower

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Dr. Amore lays on the floor surrounded by beer cans and bottles wearing a VR headset. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Dr. Michael Amore missing after ‘Ross Water’ scandal

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #26: Will you be my Valentine?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 12, 2024
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco with his pants down around his ankles wearing lighthouse boxers. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chancellor caught with his pants down

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024

Whoopsie daisy! Student has blood replaced with hot sauce

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #25: How’s your semester going?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
February 5, 2024
God sits in a bubble in the middle of a galaxy in front of multiple monitors. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Flickering Beacon exposed! God up to his old tricks

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Students walk through the new quad while decayed hands and heads stick out of the ground. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Why did Johnny Depp bury corpses on the new Quad?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #24: Why are you here?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 29, 2024
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #23: What do you think of Gringlehook?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
A Scentology professor holds a bottle of cologne. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

UMass Boston announces new Scentology department

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
Bobby and Comfort K-9 Beacon have it out on a comedy stage. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Bobby Beacon ‘craps out’ at comedy show

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
January 22, 2024
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco dresses as Santa and flies a sleigh. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

The chancellor saves Christmas

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
Bobby the Beacon and Bool stand next to each other, astonished by the test results. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Paternity test bombshell: Bobby Beacon’s not the father!

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #22: Tips for finals

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 12, 2023
An obituary for Santa Claus. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Festive father of Christmas, Santa Claus, dies aged 1,242

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
A poster of four penguins called the “Teenage Mutant Brother Friends.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Bummer, dude! ‘Teenage Mutant Brother Friends’ charged with assault

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #21: Existential Seagulls

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
December 4, 2023
Chancellor Marcelo Suárez-Orozco yells into his phone. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Chancellor canceled: ‘Heck! I don’t believe in Santa!’

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
A poster for “Rat-HatcRoonie: The Movie.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

‘Rat-Hat Roonie: The Movie’ puts the rat back in the hat of Boston’s film scene

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #20: How was your Thanksgiving?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 27, 2023
A city scape with a giant Beantown sign and a massive neon number 2 above it. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Step aside Hollywood 2: The unnecessary, mandatory, under-performing sequel

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #19: You doing okay?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
President Joe Biden shakes hands with Astronaut Bean. Illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Unearthed beans warn of impending annihilation

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 13, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #18: Ideal first dates

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
A plastic gas can tips over on the floor of Phillis Wheatley Hall. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Gas leak in Wheatley Hall causes mass hallucinations

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
A group of writers hide from drones in a forest. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Goodbye cruel world: Adjusting to our AI overlords

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
November 6, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #17: Tapping into Wheatley’s power

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
Bobby B. Beacon points. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Invasion of the Bobby snatchers

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
Pumpkins McGee stands in Phillis Wheatley Hall as students flee. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: An interview with Pumpkins McGee

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 30, 2023
A cloaked man writes a building schematic for Phillis Wheatley Hall. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The phantom architect

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 23, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #16: The meaning of life

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 23, 2023
A lost student walks down the halls of Wheatley, confused. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The labyrinth of doom

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
A group of monsters gather around a karaoke machine, passionately singing. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Go bump in the night with the UMass Boston Bumpers Club

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #15: Family matters (again)

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 16, 2023
A scared janitor runs from a ghost through the halls of Wheatley. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Wheatley Horror: The jinxed janitor

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
Zomboss Joe DiPersio takes on a fight. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Pumping iron for the zombie apocalypse

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #14: Advice with the Arts Editor

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 10, 2023
A mushroom grows by the dank stairwell. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Top five best places to grow mushrooms on campus

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
An excited couple stands in a dumpster surrounded by various treasures and trash. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

A beginner’s guide to dumpster dating

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #13: Beez Neez

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
October 2, 2023
A man yells at someone through a megaphone. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

In support of swear censorship

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #12: Getting grades up

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
A group of students cook hotdogs in a Motley Hall East communal bathroom. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Students convert dormitory bathroom into communal hotdog kitchen

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 25, 2023
Beanus crucified on the cross. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano/ Mass Media Staff.

John F. Kennedy Library to be replaced by The Boston Bean Museum

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Bobby the Beacon officiates a wedding between student Persephone Thorneside and her professor. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff

UMass Boston professor proposes to student mid-lecture

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #11: Human nature

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 18, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #10: Morning routine

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
Students test out the new sleeper pods at their own risk. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano / Mass Media Staff.

Are the University’s proposed ‘sleeper pods’ a good idea?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
A recreation of the ancient Beanosaur, which inspired Boston’s nickname: Beantown. Illustration by Eva Lycette / Mass Media Staff

The origin behind Boston’s legume-inspired nickname: The Beanosaur

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 11, 2023
A student dresses like Steve Jobs, notorious college dropout, and stands barefoot in a toilet, holding an apple with a bite taken out of it in one hand and a smartphone in the other. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

So you want to be a billionaire? Hint: Drop out of college

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 5, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #9: What did you do this summer?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
September 5, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #8: Family matters

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 28, 2023
Bobby Beacon sulks on the rooftop, looking down into the void of the city. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Bobby’s breakup: A fresh start for an old beacon

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 28, 2023
A poster parody of Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas titled “Joe and Kyle Endgame.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: Endgame

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 28, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #7: Skunks

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 21, 2023
UMass Boston Chancellor, Marcelo Suárez-Orozco, holds a bucket of Beacon Bucks and stands in the Campus Center filled with slot machines. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Beacon Buck casino night has ties to the mob

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 21, 2023
A superhero comic poster titled “Joe and Kyle: The Reactors Assemble.” Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: The Reactors assemble

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 21, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #6: Nicknames

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 14, 2023
A tombstone with a banana in front of it for Maxwell Garmon. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff. 

Failure! Baboon butt recipient dies tragically

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 14, 2023
A movie poster of T.N Turner, Joe DiPersio, and Kyle Makkas titled “Joe & Kyle: Mysteries of the Dirty Depths”.. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Joe and Kyle: Mysteries of the dirty depths

By Joe DiPersio and Kyle Makkas
April 14, 2023
A student reveals he is a cyborg. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Are you a robot?

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #5: Bobby’s bodies

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Lola the baboon does stand-up comedy for a bunch of fellow baboons. Illustration by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff.

Success! Human-baboon butt transplant achieved

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
April 7, 2023
Written by Joe DiPersio (He/Him) and illustrated by Bianca Oppedisano (She/Her) / Mass Media Staff

Ask Bobby #4: Shoe sizes

By Joe DiPersio, Humor Editor
March 31, 2023
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